Saturday, July 30, 2011

Fear of Germs?

Here is another George Carlin's stand up.

WARNING : GC are well known for his 7 dirty words (byk sbnrnye). I've made a transcript of this vc and I'm not asterisk-ing any of them. Because it's merely in a form of contextual meaning. 

Readers discretion is advised.

p/s : To me, there are no such thing as dirty words, just dirty minded people. Selamat menonton. ^_^


What we have now is a completely neurotic population obsessed with security and safety and crime and drugs and cleanliness and hygiene and germs.... There’s another thing, GERMS. 

Where does this sudden fear of germs come from in this country?

 Have you notice this? 

The media constantly running stories about all the latest infection, Salmonella, E.Coli, virus, bird flu, and  American they panic easily  so now everybody running around scrubbing this and spraying that and overcooking their food, repeatedly washing their hands trying to avoid all contact with germs.

 It’s ridiculous and it goes to ridiculous slang. In prison, before they give you the lethal injection, they swap your arm with alcohol.
It's true. It's true

 Well, they don’t want you to get an infection, and can see their point. Wouldn’t want some guy to go to hell AND be sick. Would take a lot of sportsmanship out of the whole execution.

 Fear of germs why these *fucking pussies. 

They can have a decent hamburger anymore. They cook the shit out of everything now coz everybody afraid of food poisoning. 

Hey, where’s you sense of adventure? 

Take a fucking chance will you.

Do you know how many people died in this country from food poisoning every year?    .


That’s all. It’s a minor risk!  Take a fucking chance won't you god dam pussies.

 Besides, what do you think you have immune system for? 

It’s for killing germs !!

 But it needs practice. It needs germs to practice on. So, so listen. If you kill all the germs around you and live a completely sterile life. And when germs do come along, you’re not gonna be prepare. And never mind the ordinary germs. What do you gonna do when some super virus comes along and turn your vital organs into liquid shit??

 I’ll tell you what you gonna do. You gonna get sick, you gonna die and you gonna deserve it cos you fucking weak and you got a fucking weak immune system! 

Hey, alright,  let me tell you true story about immunisation. When I was a little boy in New York city in 1940’s, we swam in the Hudson River. And it was filled with raw sewage, ok?. We swam in raw sewage. You know, to cool of!

 And at that time the big fear was polio. Thousands of kids died from polio every year. But you know something, in my neighbourhood, no one ever got polio, no one ever. You know why? Cos me swam in raw sewage. It strengthened our immune system. The polio never had a prior. We were tempered in raw shit.

 So, personally I never take any special precautions against germs. I don’t shy away from people sneezes and coughs. I don’t wipe up the telephone and I don’t cover the toilet seat. And if I drop food on the floor, I picked it up and eat it! Even if I’m at sidewalk cafe, in Calcutta, the poor section, on New Year’s morning during a soccer riot.

 And you know something in spite of all that so called risky behaviour, I never get an infection, I don’t get them. I don’t get cold. I don’t get flu. I don’t get headaches. I don’t get upset stomach. And you know why? Cos I got a good strong immune system, and it gets a lot of practice. 

My immune system is equipped with the biologically equivalent to fully automatic military assault rifle with night vision and laser scope, and we had recently acquired phosphorous grenade cluster bombs and anti-personnel fragmentation mines. 

So, when my white blood cells are on patrol around my blood stream, seeking out stranger and other undesirable, if they see any, ANY suspicious looking germ of any kind, they don’t  F.U.C.K around, they wax the motherfuckers and deposited the unlucky fellow directly into my colon. There’s no nonsense, there’s no three strikes and you’re out shit. First defense, BAM! Into the colon you go.

 And speaking of my colon, I want you to know, I don’t automatically washed my hand every time I go to the bathroom, ok? Can you deal with that? Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. You know when I wash my hand? When I shitted on them! That’s the only time. And you know how often that happen? Tops, tops! Two, three times a week. Tops. Maybe more frequently on holiday, you know what I mean. 

Let me tell you something else my well-scrubbed friends. You know we don’t always need shower every day. Did you know that? It’s over killed. Unless you worked out, or worked outdoor. Or for some reason come in intimate contact with huge amount of garbage every day. You don’t always need shower. All you need to do is to wash the four key areas. Armpit, asshole, crotch and teeth. got that? Armpits, asshole, crotch and teeth. In fact, it will save you a whole lot of time if you simply use the same brush on those four areas !!


Just to make myself clear,

Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary, 8th edition

*fuck verb, noun
BrE / fʌk /
NAmE / fʌk /

 verb forms
 word origin
( taboo , slang )
1 [ intransitive ,  transitive ] ~ (sb) to have sex with sb

2 [ intransitive ,  transitive ] a swear word that many people find offensive that is used to express anger, disgust or surprise
Oh, fuck! I've lost my keys.
~ sb/sth Fuck it! We've missed the train.
Fuck you—I'm leaving.

ˌfuck ˈme
used to express surprise
Fuck me! Have you seen how much this costs?

ˌfuck aˈround
( BrE also ˌfuck aˈbout )
to waste time by behaving in a silly way
Stop fucking around and come and help.
  A more polite, informal way of saying this is mess about ( BrE ) or mess around ( NAmE , BrE ).

ˌfuck sb aˈround
( BrE also ˌfuck sb aˈbout )
to treat sb in a way that is deliberately not helpful to them or wastes their time
This damn company keeps fucking me around.
  A more polite, informal way of saying this is mess sb about/around ( BrE ).

ˌfuck ˈoff ( usually used in orders ) to go away
Why don't you just fuck off?

ˌfuck ˈup to do sth badly or make a bad mistake
You've really fucked up this time!

  A more polite way to express this is mess up .

ˌfuck sb ˈup to upset or confuse sb so much that they are not able to deal with problems in their life
My parents' divorce really fucked me up.
  A more polite way to express this is mess sb up .

ˌfuck sth ˈup to do sth badly or spoil sth
I completely fucked up my exams.

  A more polite, informal way of saying this is mess sth up .

ˈfuck with sb to treat sb badly in a way that makes them annoyed
Don't fuck with him.
  A more polite way to express this is mess with sb .

 word origin
( taboo , slang )
1 [ countable ,  usually singular ] an act of sex

2 the fuck [ singular ] used for emphasis, or to show that you are angry, annoyed or surprised
What the fuck are you doing?
Let's get the fuck out of here!
not give a ˈfuck (about sb/sth)
to not care at all about sb/sth
He doesn't give a fuck about anyone else.
see also F-word
© Oxford University Press, 2010

Saturday, July 9, 2011

<Hello World>

// We are Malaysians.

// Our beloved and *peaceful Tanah Tumpah Darahku.

// One thing you need to know about Malaysian is that we like politics.

// Yup, We are politics-like people. Aren't we Cik Markonah,Mr.Maximillian Dominic Putucheary, Joshua Nathaniel Luke Ying Siew Heng? n_n

// We talk about it ALL the time. Screw the 14 days campaign for election. We've got the Internet! Now we talk politics even more! 365, 24/7. Politics here, politics there, makan politik, tidur politik, berak politik.

// Well we like politics! And we're good at it! Thank god we're good at it because we basically SUCKS! at **everything else! Can't even have a decent inter-racial mutualism, for god's-sake. Let alone Satu Sekolah Kebangsaan Untuk Semua to unite our children.

// Hey, how about this, let's put aside our political agenda, BE HAPPY to remove that BERSIH or PATRIOT or whatever difference group you get us into, and proudly wear Malaysian, and Proud ! badge. Dare to?

// Come on ! It's gonna be COOL aite?

// Then pledge OUT LOUD the five tenets of our Rukunegara.

// If you did both well, give yourself a good pat on the back.

// But if you could hardly sing along the Negaraku with neither the ability to pronounce the sacred lyrics nor actually comprehend their meaning or lost for words in your pathetic attempt to lafaz the Rukunegara....

// GIVE YOURSELVES A GOOD TIGHT SLAP..... on BOTH cheeks and stop pretending that you are a Malaysian. Thank you =)

// Malaysian and Proud !

*Conditions apply
**Okay not everythinglah..

Thursday, July 7, 2011

A boy liked a girl but wanted to make her jealous.

Then one day
things went terribly wrong.

...The next few weeks
were like a very sad

He made her jealous
on purpose he tried.

When the girl asked,
"Do you love her?"
on purpose he lied.

He played with jealousy
like it was a game.

Little did he know
Things would never be the same.

His plan was working

but he had no clue.
How wrong things would go,
the damage he would do.

One night she broke down,
feeling very

Just her and the blade,
no one else home.

She dialed his number,
he answered,

She told him she loved him
and hung up the phone.

He raced to her
just a minute too late.
Found her lying in
her heart had no rate.

Beside her was a note,
in it her confession.

Her love for this boy, her only obsession.

As he read the note,
he knelt down cried cried n cried....!! :'((